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I wouldn't stop doing those things if I were partnered up. I'm tired of people saying, "Oh, it will happen to you someday, and you will meet your other half and you'll understand." I don't believe in magical solutions to anything or from anyone. Not even Jesus shows up to fix everything about my life; He sent me the odd, mysterious, whispering Spirit.

I have to do the so-much-work of listening to Spirit. That Spirit invites me into my life, this wild mysterious wonder, where things grow out of other things breaking down into dirt.

SEE ALSO: Why Do We Need to Have Answers for Everything? That sounds like fun, in the same way that having deep, ridiculous inside jokes with my best friends are fun.

It sounds good and hard in the right ways, like a run that exhausts but stretches your muscles so you can run a little longer next time. But my best dating has happened at times when I am most sure that a spouse would not fix my life.

I'm not counting on a marriage to fix all the aches I already have. I'm not betting on any one person to be all the balm I need after my reckless tearing around this world.

I’m absolutely dreading it – I don’t know what to do with myself. ’ Earlier this year, I got invited to speak at a conference.

For some singles, the festive season conjures up feelings of joy and thoughts of cosy nights by the fireplace.

For others, it comes with some trepidation; another family get-together where you’ll be asked the same old questions- ‘What’s new with you? ’ And of course, the classic ‘When are you getting married? Whether you love Christmas and New Year and are super excited at the prospect of Yuletide cheer, or whether you dread advent looming on the calendar, you’ll be glad to know there’s plenty of ways in which this period is actually a good time to be single.

It’s known as the season to be jolly but read on to find out how this is also the season of hope and opportunity.

‘This is my second Christmas since my divorce – which, by the way, I didn’t want,’ said one of my readers.

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