Would you consider dating me
So, after providing caveats, I then leave it up to the individual reader whether they prefer to be more forthright or indirect in their methods. A former colleague tried this on me a couple of times, it made me so uncomfortable I finally cut off all contact.
For those who prefer more direct methods, my earlier articles on "Just Asking" might be a better fit: Just Asking for It! Part II: Why Dating Partners Say Yes Cristina - Thanks again for your input. To this reader, there is nothing fun, flirtatious or light-hearted about manipulating a conversation or a situation or provoking a response that you want. The original examples were designed as "strong" interpretations of the technique.
You get them to do what you want by proposing it subtly as an alternative. - This approach gets someone to do what you want by putting them on the defensive.
It turns the tables and has them try to come up with reasons why they shouldn't comply (which is difficult). Example: These techniques are both indirect and effective. While they avoid the awkwardness of asking directly, they can be construed by some as a bit manipulative (especially the "stronger" versions).
Even so, you may still "turn off" some possible romantic partners who prefer a more direct and "authentic" approach." (Nearly all of them say this, so it must be part of their sales training.) The idea, of course, is to give me only two choices so I'll pick one; I pick neither. Persuasion and compliance techniques are employed by practitioners in many areas. But, it would be nice to have some company while I eat. That is a more direct approach, but may come across as less "demanding".Still, this doesn't mean the technique doesn't work in a general way. I'll take your word for it that these strategems work more than they annoy. In fact, the "forced" or "false" choice technique is indeed part of "sales training 101" in many places. See my reply above for links or go to The Attraction Doctor blog post list.A less direct approach takes some of the risk and uncertainty out of the requesting. Fortunately, there are strategies and social skills to covertly ask for what you want.In fact, there are a number of compliance gaining strategies (ways to get others to do what you want) - some that don't require directly asking at all (Kellermann & Cole, 1994).